Fear, Intentional Living, Rejection, Trusting God

Intentional: Accepting What God Offers

autumn-pathway

+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

I’ll never forget the day.

I was sitting with a friend at a Quizno’s. She always had a way of speaking truth, even hard truth, with gentleness. And she had the gift of prophecy.

“You have a gaping wound in your heart, Jeanne.”

Nine eye-opening words.

With those words, God opened my spiritual eyes to see the wound and its cause.

Rejection.

Continue reading “Intentional: Accepting What God Offers”

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Dependence, God, Identity, Life, Rejection

Scars: How They Shape Us

Heart with cracks copy

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

We all have them. I still wear scars from the time I tripped while running up cement steps. One step tore a piece of my shin skin away. Or the one on my right hand from where I was practicing my starts for a backstroke race and the back of my hand met the bottom of the pool. They’re small visible reminders of past pains . . . and lessons learned.

They bled, scabbed, and healed over. Skin slightly warbled, but still good for go into every day life.

Continue reading “Scars: How They Shape Us”

Five Minute Friday scribblings, Rejection

Real: The Journey to Real

Interrupted Reflection

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

My Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—REAL. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

REAL

I grew up in a world where people made fun of me. Mocked me. Spit upon me.

I learned pretty early on that being real got a girl ostracized. At school anyway. My family loved me, and that brought comfort.

Growing up, I determined to do whatever it took to fit in, to be accepted. Even if that meant not being the entire “real” me. It was safer for my heart to be accepted than it was to step out in brave-ness and be who I really was. And part of my heart— the essence of me—was lost.

Choppy Waters

It wasn’t until my thirties that I realized I was trying to live life around a gaping wound in my heart. It hurt to look back on choices made because of my fear of rejection.

Was it safe to be who I really am? Would people condemn me for being . . . me?

God took me through a journey I don’t have time to go into now. It’s been painful. He’s shown me I don’t have to look like I have it all together. People may not always accept me. And that’s okay.

Because my Abba does. He created me. He knows the real me. He knows the wounds of my past and has the salve for my present.

God’s showing me that the real me is enough. Because of Him.

And I’m learning that as I am real with other people? They are drawn to Jesus in me. And they accept me as . . . me.

It’s only Jesus in me that can bring beauty from the wounds. Healing from the hurts. And reveal truth to transform the lies.

Blue Mesa Reflections

He is the One who is real. And He’s teaching me how to be a real reflection of Him—reflecting His love to those around me.

Being real is scary. But this step-by-step journey of trusting God to create in me all that He intended for me to be? The messiest, most difficult, most freeing journey I’ve ever walked.

What about you? Do you struggle with being real with those around you? How do you live real in your life?

Vist Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday post—Real

God, Growing, Rejection, Risk

Growing: Encouraging Personal Growth

Unless you try to do something RW Emerson

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

***Hubby and I took a few days away, so I don’t have a regular blogpost ready for this week.

With that being said, I have been contemplating the idea behind this quote. I’ve completed three rough drafts that have the potential to become full-fledged books. If I revise and polish and submit them.

I stretched myself with the first word I wrote for my first book. I—the woman who never thought she could make up a plot, imagine up characters and dream up dialogue—wrote my first story. With a lot of help from God. And guidance from friends.

As my third story marinates for a bit, I’ve discovered a hesitancy to take it through the process to completion. I suspect I’m nurturing a fear of rejection.

So . . .

It’s time to try to do something beyond what I’ve mastered and refine this story. Pour more of myself into it and see what God does with it. If I  entrust the end result to Him, I don’t need to fear rejection or anything else. I’m going to grow as I walk through this stretching process.

What about you? What have you tried to do beyond what you’ve already mastered? What was the end result?

Love, Love: When Loving Is Hard, Mothering, Rejection

Love: When Loving Is Hard

Storm moving in

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

This mama job is hard some days.

The boys got to bed late last night….for a lot of reasons. One woke up tired. One woke up mean. It’s the mean that is hard for my heart to look beyond.

As he spewed his negative and his mean on the morning, I found myself reacting, distancing myself from the venom.

Continue reading “Love: When Loving Is Hard”

Five Minute Friday scribblings, Identity, Rejection, Uncategorized

Belong: Belonging to God

Holding Hands 2

By Jeanne Takenaka

My Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—Belong. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out Lisa-Jo Baker‘s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

Rejection was my first identity marker when I was a girl. Attending a small elementary school where the kids had known each other since long before I was added to the roster was difficult. As I grew older, I made friends—good friends—but the lie had been planted. I was never truly going to belong anywhere, in any group of people. I’ve struggled with wondering if/when I would do something that would cause others to stop letting me belong in the friendship, in the group. God has had to speak his truth into that aspect of my life.

Some days I still struggle with a sense of belonging. Yet God in his goodness has gifted me with an amazing husband who loves me through my pretty days and my ugly days. He’s added to our lives two amazing boys to whom I belong. Our family is the perfect place for me to belong. Here, I have learned what that acceptance feels like.

Boys n me 7-4

The interesting thing is: I’ve belonged to God’s family since I was fourteen. Yet, I walked through years of doubting it. That lie of rejection runs deep, it’s roots entwined throughout my heart. A little at a time, God has pulled those roots out, and replaced them with the truth that I belong to Him.

He loves me passionately, perfectly, completely. I will always belong to him. I never have to worry about if He will stop accepting or loving me. I am His. And He is mine. Oh Joy!

Each one of us belong to Him. There is nothing we can do that will cause Him to stop loving us. He’s just faithful that way.

What about you? Do you have a place in life where  you belong? How well do you receive it? Do you believe it’s God’s gift for you?

Crystal Stine is the guest hostess for Five Minute Friday this week.

Alone: Truth and Lies, God, Rejection, Trusting God

Alone: Truth and Lies

Bird flying solo

By Jeanne Takenaka

I walked into church, alone. Hubby waited for a delivery at home. Of course, the only window of time for said delivery was during our worship time at church. So, I got kids to classes and settled in a seat. Alone.

How is it that one can feel so invisible in a house filled with brothers and sisters?

Continue reading “Alone: Truth and Lies”