Five Minute Friday scribblings, Love, Mothering

Dare: Loving Through Hurts

Heart and knot necklace

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

My Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—Dare. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

DARE

“How dare you?!” roared around in my mind as my son spewed disrespectful words at me. Again.

He’s a boy. I’m the mom. But I can never quite swallow those hurtful darts without them slicing me on the way down.

He’s learning—and so am I—how to deal with the surge of emotions that roil over him and spill onto me. The hurt is there. Sometimes it dares me to retaliate, to not forgive when asked.

Sometimes the greater dare comes in loving after being hurt. Yes, he’s a child. He’s my strong-willed, amazing, loving-big, arms-wide-open boy. Except for when he’s not.

I dare not stop loving this child of mine. As if I could.

Hurt sometimes tempts us to withhold love. Acceptance.

Hurts caused by others challenge us to move beyond them. Or hurts encourage us to give up.

There are situations where hurts must be stopped, and that comes with distancing ourselves from the one doing the hurting.

In my case, my dare is to love through it. To love well. And to train godly.

Big vine, little vine

It’s hard. But I’m the example of love for this boy of mine. I’m the example of Jesus with skin on, of what daring to love—even when one is unlovely—looks like.

I’m not big into taking dares from people . . . but a dare from God? Dare I not accept the challenge to reflect Him to my boys, to the circle of influence I’m placed within?

Is it easy? No! but, it’s necessary. Love well.

Dare to be like Jesus in all of who He is. Including loving when it hurts.

What about you? Have you ever been dared to do something? Did you do it? How do you love those who are hard to love?

Kate Motaung—Dare

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Love, Love: When Loving Is Hard, Mothering, Rejection

Love: When Loving Is Hard

Storm moving in

By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

This mama job is hard some days.

The boys got to bed late last night….for a lot of reasons. One woke up tired. One woke up mean. It’s the mean that is hard for my heart to look beyond.

As he spewed his negative and his mean on the morning, I found myself reacting, distancing myself from the venom.

Continue reading “Love: When Loving Is Hard”

Crucifixion, Easter

The Darker Side of Easter

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Image courtesty of Patou at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My parents had a way of creating fun traditions for our family. Easter was no exception. My memories of this springtime holiday revolve around being together as a family, and the fun that came from believing in the Easter Bunny and hunting for those colored eggs. This was all good, and I love the memories and impressions from those years.

As I grew older, I learned the deeper aspects of Easter. In the early part of this Holy Week, I’m thinking about the darker side of the celebration. As a girl I remember celebrating the “after” without really thinking about came “before.” Before the resurrection came the crucifixion.

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Image courtesy of bela_kiefer at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My best friend, Jesus, hung on the cross in my place. The perfect sacrificed for the imperfect, the unstained for the sinner. Jesus’ love for me kept Him on the cross. He could have come down from it, or not allowed Himself to be nailed to it in the first place–He’s God. He chose to stay so that one day, I would have the chance to learn of Him and His amazing, covering love for me.

Each year, my husband and I watchThe Passion. I always cry when I watch what happened to Jesus, what He endured.

Why? Why would He take on the whippings, thorns pressed into his head, nails pounded through his wrists and feet, the hours of slow asphyxiation?

Love.

Why would someone love me that much? I don’t know. What I do know is that God’s love for me, and for every person, is that powerful, that passionate. He desires relationship, and the only way that could happen was for sin to be dealt with once and for all. Jesus’ death paid the price I could never, ever pay. Why?

Love.

Thankfully, the story doesn’t end at the cross.

If you have a few moments, listen to the song below and share your thoughts with me.

Thanks for stopping by today!

Uncategorized

What Does Love Look Like?

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Image courtesy of imagery majestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I was a teenager, my teeny-bopper heart longed to be married when I was eighteen. I know, looking back decades later, I see the folly of that heart’s desire. I equated “married love” with acceptance. I pictured a man (or man-boy at eighteen to twenty years old) embracing me for who I was, loving me with abandon and being mine forever and ever amen. Yes, you’re allowed to laugh, I was the epitome of youthful naivete.

I know people who married young and are still together. If I had married at eighteen, I probably would have been divorced by twenty-three. I grew and changed so much as a person in those five years. Though some of the waiting years between eighteen and when I met my husband were tough, I’m so glad now that I waited for God’s best.

When I married at twenty-eight years old, love looked much different. It doesn’t look like someone placing me at the center of his universe. Thank goodness! It doesn’t look like him always catering to my needs. I’ve discovered the joy of giving and receiving in my relationship with my honey. I am his second priority, right after his relationship with Jesus. There’s something indescribably wonderful about being cherished by my man. The commitment he lives out each day, the sacrifices he makes, the patience he extends when I’m writing like a mad woman–these are priceless gifts of love.

I love making sure our home is a place he wants to come home to. In our relationship, love also looks like: cuddling up together to watch a movie and munch on big bowl of popcorn. Or, giving him space and down-time for his introverted side to regroup after a difficult day. Love is knowing what his needs are and doing what I can to meet them, even when it’s inconvenient for me.

Love is giving and receiving.

Your turn: How did love look to you at eighteen? How do you describe love now?

Happy Valentine’s Day!