By +Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka
Our Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—DOUBT. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!
***There were a number of directions I could have taken this post. This is still pretty fresh on my heart, so I hope it makes sense!***
The email came today. Though I’d expected it, I hesitated to open it. Anytime someone is evaluating something I’ve created, I know the words can build up, or cause doubt.
Today, they caused doubt.
Why did I ever think I could write a story? Who am I to think I can convey God’s love and messages through my written words?
Part of the reason I’m struggling with doubt right now is because I thought a little more highly of myself than I ought to think.
Without realizing it, I’d hung some of my personal value on the affirmation I’d hoped to receive from others.
How many times am I going to walk around this tree? The one where words drop from the branches and bang me on the head, leaving wounds in my thoughts, bruises on my heart?
When am I going to truly believe that my affirmation, my value does not come from people, but from God?
People see a part of who I am. God sees all that He has created me to be—both where I am today and at the end of my life. And, He says it is good.
He uses the disappointments in life—the criticisms—to refine our character . . .
. . . the way fire pushes dross up from the bottom of the silver kettle. He wants the dross to rise to the top so it can be scraped away.
When my dross is pushed to the surface through the heat of criticism, the doubt of my value is what rose to the top this time around.
God’s a gentle purifier, though. He knows what needs to happen so I’ll remember Who I belong to.
He knows the plans he has for each of us . . .
. . . and He never promises that everything will go exactly the way we want them to go. He uses the disappointments life tosses into our mix to stir things up, to show us areas of our character He’s working on, and to remind us Whose we are.
When we turn to Him with our doubts . . .
. . . when we listen to the truths He declares over us, those doubts can turn to hope. Hope restores the spirit and gives us strength to keep walking forward in the messy, beautiful plans He’s crafted for us.
What about you? How do you manage doubt when it comes knocking on the door of your life? When have you turned doubt into hope?
Visit Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday post—Doubt