Many years ago, as Hubs and I stumbled through the valley of infertility, I struggled a lot with the Lord. I faced well-intentioned loved ones who told me I just needed more faith, and then we’d get pregnant.
But more, I questioned that God loved me as much as He loved other people.
If He loved me, why did He withhold this heart desire? Why did he not fulfill the innate yearning to carry a pregnancy to term and to nurture a child?
Many years ago, our oldest wouldn’t wake up one morning. It wasn’t stubbornness on his part. He was feverish, lethargic, and simply couldn’t stay awake. I let him sleep. But as the clock ticked toward noon and I couldn’t rouse him even for a drink of water, my mama’s heart revved as worry dug in deep.
God allowed us to get a same-day appointment with our doctor. I hefted my unconscious boy into his office. Long story short, he thought it would be best to take Peter to the ER.
Thanksgiving is a couple of days behind me, and I determine I’m going to make this year the Christmas season where I’m truly resting in the midst of the busy-ness of it all. I decide to cut back on activities and things I feel obligated to complete.
Each year I promise myself I’m going to come upon Christmas Day rested and worshiping my Savior, grateful for all that the Day represents.
And almost every year Christmas Day arrives and I am weary. I forget to give myself grace.
As we are in the throes of Thanksgiving week here in the United States, I decided to add to a post I originally shared a few years ago. It’s short but sweet. And, I’m still sticking with a quote. 🙂
I love this quote by Ann Voskamp. Thanksgiving is an attitude of the heart, and it’s a choice. When we choose thankfulness, joy is the result in our hearts. We see the good things God has placed in our lives. When we take the time and make the effort to say, “Thank you,” we not only show Him appreciation, we build up a storehouse of joy within us.
The phone rang. It was Hubs. “Honey. I’m in a bit of a panic. I’m at my first flight layover, and I can’t find my passport. Can you check my desk to see if it’s there?”
My husband, world-traveler that he is, had made this trip to the far East many times. My heart dropped when I heard his words, and I sprinted to his office. The edge of his passport peeked out from beneath a short, elevated pile of papers.
Though I try to be intentional about practicing the art of giving thanks throughout the year, it seems like November is the month when life finally slows down a little bit and I can really, truly think on the nuances of gratitude.
This month, I’m going to keep things a little shorter and share quotes that mean something to me. I hope you’ll share quotes and your thoughts on gratitude as well.
What kinds of moments are you living right now?
I’ve been living in busy moments, especially over these past couple of weeks. I attended a retreat, and then I made the five hour drive to cheer on my oldest’s marching band at the state competition. And that on top of preparations for these and daily life.
I find it’s in the busy moments that I most need to fix my heart on God. My focus tends toward doing the next thing. I drive myself hard to complete everything. And I end up drained at the end.
And a drained Jeanne tends to lead to . . . unpleasantness all around.
I’m coming clean. I had a “grand plan” for this week’s post. I really did. But life . . . became a bit unwieldy these past couple of weeks and stripped my normal preparation time for the posts I share with you. I hope you’ll indulge me as I offer a few photos and autumn reflections I shared on Instagram in October. Next week, we’ll jump into November with quotes and thoughts on gratitude. I especially look forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic.
Not long ago, my wound got stomped on by people close to me. Things were said. The message conveyed felt like a snub, and it stung. My first response was to leave the situation.
I moved on from the incident, but that re-opened wound festered, leaving me stinking on the inside, insecure in my thinking, and holding onto a grudge. My first thought was to ignore the pain caused by words.