Control, Five Minute Friday scribblings, Infertility, Trusting God

Control: Who’s In Control?

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+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—CONTROL. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

CONTROL

Have I ever mentioned that I might have an issue with control? And the funny thing is, a lot of times, I think God is letting me have control in my daily decisions about how I live life. Yes, you can laugh.

When I was newly married and we’d been “trying” to have a baby, we conceived . . . and lost the child within eleven weeks. I was devastated but convinced if we tried a little longer it would happen.

That was the beginning of my journey into learning how little control I really have.

I prayed, begged, got on my face and cried to God asking for a baby. He wasn’t being capricious or mean by saying, “Not yet.”

He was drawing me closer to Himself.

In that time period, God taught me so much about His sovereignty.

And in His sovereignty, I came to see God’s love for me.

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He had plans for conforming me into the image of Jesus that could only be completed as I learned to walk more closely with Him.

As I learned how to trust Him.

And He’s continued with the trust lessons. On this writing journey, I’ve had to drop a lot of my self-sufficiency and my timelines and plans and learn to embrace His.

No, I haven’t always done it gracefully.

As I have learned to relinquish control over things I thought I controlled, I’m learning to walk in a greater peace.

Learning to trust Him with all things—big and small—is one of my life-long lessons. 

I am still not perfect in the trust department, but I am slowly learning to turn things over to him more quickly.

As I have struggled with watching friends progress in their writing journeys, and I’ve seemingly stayed in the same place, God’s teaching me how to give each aspect of “my” writing over to Him.

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He’s also freeing me from lies I’ve believed all my life. God is helping me to be more real—more authentic—in my writing and in my daily living.

I never would have learned these lessons had He not begun to teach me about Who’s really in control of “my” life.

What about you? What lessons has God taught you about control? How have you come to see His love for you in your life?

Click to Tweet: Can we have control and still trust God?

I forgot to mention…I had the privilege of visiting with my online friend, Holly Barrett and recording a podcast with her. If you want to hear our conversation, check it out at Living a Redeemed Life.

I’m linking up with Kate Motaung’s Heading Home Five Minute Friday—Control

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17 thoughts on “Control: Who’s In Control?”

  1. Amen friend! Thank you for this beauty this evening. Since I know you a little I have heard you talk about having control issues. I do too but am learning like you that Jesus is really in charge. I count that as a really good thing. Have a blessed weekend.

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    1. Mary, I really, truly am glad that Jesus is in control. I’m getting better at remembering this and letting that truth guide my thoughts and choices. But you know how it is. I end up taking backward steps after taking some forward ones. 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful weekend too!

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  2. Oh my! Every time. I think, and remind others the great advice that “God is in control” but when things seem to go crazy in my life, I despair, I struggle, I search for a hand-hold on it… and after a couple months I finally remember “God is in control” and remember to find my knees instead of fighting for knowledge or control.

    It pretty consistently takes a couple months. Why? I am just a child to God. A child of God’s, but a child just the same.
    (visiting from FMF)

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    1. It is easy to say (and believe in the moment) that God is in control. But, it’s sometimes scary to live that out when everything in our lives feels out of control, isn’t it? I think that grappling is part of our journey into a deeper relationship with God. And yes, finding our knees is crucial as we learn to hold those crazy-making circumstances with an open hand. I love your reminder that we are children of God. 🙂 Thanks so much for visiting!

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    1. Bonnie, I wish I was more of a go-with-the-flow person. But, I’m not. However, I’m learning to release into God’s hand those situations and circumstances I can’t change. And, even some of those I can. 🙂 I’m so glad you visited!

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    1. Andrew, I so appreciate the differentiation you’ve made between self-control and control. While self-control is necessary for so many aspects of our lives, it’s different from trusting God with everything, isn’t it? The comforting thing is, God helps us to let go of things we need to let go of. And, He helps us to trust Him…as we’re willing to do so.

      I’m praying for you, friend.

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  3. Love that you are grappling with this! I have to believe that God knew what he was doing when he gave us free-will and the control of our own decisions. Finding that balance and dependency is such a tension. But, I wonder if God just smiles and says, “It’s ok. You’re good.”

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    1. I love this perspective, Annie. Yes, God gave us free will. And, I sometimes wonder if it’s in the struggling to choose to trust Him that we draw closer to Him. I am beyond thankful for His grace and mercy when I make dumb choices and don’t trust Him. And for how He gives us more opportunities to learn the lesson of trust. 🙂

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  4. Hi, Jeanne! Happy belated New Year!
    Your post surprised me today. I mean, I’m just getting to know you and I haven’t been around for very long, but I would’ve never imagined that you’d struggle with being a control freak and insecure about your writing. My honest feedback is that you are gracious and patient, always full of the Word and encouragement, and I love your writing. Funny, eh? I hold you up as a standard because you always have something significant to say. Be encouraged, my friend! You are better than you think!
    ❤️ this: “He’s also freeing me from lies I’ve believed all my life.” YES!
    Shauna (back again and in FMF22 this week)

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    1. Shauna, so good to see you! Belated happy New Year to you, too. 🙂 You are an encouragement. 🙂 God has been helping me let go of control, but He showed me last week that I still have some lessons to learn in this department. 🙂

      In writing, God is helping me there too. 🙂 I’ve had a number of friends move forward in their writing journeys, and at times, I have struggled with that, and with the lies I believed for too long. In this, too, God is working in my heart and mind. He’s reminded me many times that this writing journey is being guided by Him. I so appreciate your encouragement. We’re all works in progress, aren’t we? I’m so glad you’re back!

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  5. Loved hearing your voice and your message on pod cast. Hard things in life do inspire writing, doesn’t they? When circumstances are difficult, I’m learning to respond with, “Speak, Lord” and be a student of what He is doing.

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