Our pastor spoke these words on a recent Sunday, and they’ve stayed with me.
“Dwell where God calls you.”
God’s placed at least one calling on each of our lives. He has purposes that only we can fulfill. My friend might be able to fulfill my calling to a degree, but not to the the extent that God created me to do so.
But what about when I don’t like the calling, or when the calling is too hard, or when the calling is not the one I wanted?
I didn’t ask to be placed on the pathway of infertility. Yet, that was the calling God placed on my life. Well, my husband’s and my lives together. He set us on that path.
And I fought it.
I talked to friends who gave me sure-fire ways to obtain pregnancy. I tried almost all of them.
I read books and articles.
We talked to specialists who did tests. Who laid out options.
In the end, none of them worked. God had a purpose for us to walk on this path. And it about broke me to the core of who I was at that time.
No, it did break me.
Walking that path broke down the pre-conceived safe notions I had about what it truly meant to walk with God. He showed me the differences in what I thought His faithfulness should look like and what it actually looked like in real time. Moment by moment.
He watched me log my cycles month after month. As I cried bitter tears. As I slowly loosened the grip of each of my tightly-fisted fingers from the dream of motherhood.
I did not want to dwell in that lonely place where He called me.
I wanted to dwell in the calling of motherhood. Of dirty diapers, a few extra pounds, baby food, spit up cloths and lots of laundry. Why couldn’t I dwell in that calling instead of the heart-wrenching one of empty arms?
I see now that God had to work in me to prepare me for the motherhood He called me to. He broke me so He could re-make me into a more compassionate, grace-giving daughter of His. He gifted me with that time so I could discover more about who He really is, what His faithfulness really looks like, and what it really means to walk in His love.
And to believe that He loves me (and each of His children) just as passionately, perfectly and completely as He can. He can’t love me any more than He does, because He already loves me all the way.
When God places us in an uncomfortable calling, we need to dwell there. Even when it hurts. God has a purpose in the pain, a purpose in placing us where He does. Sometimes we see it in the moment. Other times, we don’t see it at all. And that’s okay.
When we stay in the center of His will for us, He can create in us a new spirit, one that emulates Him more clearly. When we dwell where He’s called us, without fighting Him, God can do work through us that impacts lives in ways we could never imagine.
“Dwell where God has called you.”
What about you? Where has God called you? How do you work through being in a place you don’t want to be but you know it’s where God wants you for now?