Authenticity, Five Minute Friday scribblings

Agree: Can We Be Authentic?

@JeanneTakenaka +Jeanne Takenaka

Our Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—AGREE. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. We write for five minutes on a given word. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out the Five Minute Friday website. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

AGREE

God has imprinted the word, Authentic, on my heart. I spent a year focusing on that word, and God taught me much.

More than almost anything, I want to live an authentic life. One that reflects Jesus through words and actions.

A life that is honest and real with those around me. Especially the ones I love the most.

Authentic and Agree do not always co-exist.

For decades I spent so much time trying to be agreeable. To fit in. To be accepted.

I could agree with almost anyone (within reason) and think I was being honest. With myself. With them.

But the truth is: we are not always going to agree with people. Things will be done that bother us. Words will be spoken that hurt. Are unfair. Untrue.

Do we just have to brush over it for the sake of agreement? Of unity? Of being godly?

Sometimes, to agree with someone is to be inauthentic.

It’s easy to agree with others to avoid conflict. But when that’s the main reason for agreement, we lose a piece of ourselves and gain compromise and falseness.

We don’t have to enter into conflict all the time. But we need to accept the fact that there will be times when, to be authentic is the higher calling. To agree with someone or something will strip our “real-ness” and replace it with a phony.

Can we be authentic and disagree with someone? Yes. Can we do it in love? Hopefully.

This is what God calls us to. When we disagree with another, may we do so in a loving way. God doesn’t call us to be right or even authentic above all else. He calls us to love.

This looks different depending on relationships, circumstances. But if we can reflect His love in a situation, authenticity can weave deeper into the fabric of who we are.

What about you? How do you disagree with someone in a loving manner? How do you live out authenticity?

Click to Tweet: Sometimes to agree with someone is to be inauthentic

I’m linking up with Five Minute Friday—Agree

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “Agree: Can We Be Authentic?”

    1. Annette, sometimes it is hard to engage brain before speaking words. When my emotions get ruffled . . . I like what you said about being honest in a way that shows integrity to ourselves and the other person. Great thought!

      Like

  1. Love the post and pictures, Jeanne…especially the fence. I can just feel the sun-warmed wood.

    I used to think I was a particularly agreeable chap, since I never got into arguments…until I was told that I was so bloody intimidating with a reputation (surely undeserved???) for hair-trigger hostility cum violence (well, maybe deserved) that no one dared challenge me.

    Peace through superior firepower…yeah. I can live with that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Andrew, we all have those times of thinking pretty Kindly of ourselves, only to be told that, yeah, we’re not always so wonderful. 🙂 Peace through superior fire power . . . I guess that firepower can show up in a variety of ways. Praying for you, friend.

      Like

      1. Good morning, Jeanne, I celebrate authenticity with you. I agree that to agree is not always the Godly answer. I am led to speak about hard things, truth which is not always pretty or agreeable. He uses it though, in ways I may never know. Thank you for your encouragement to align with Him before agreeing with those around us. Blessings on your weekend, Julie

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Julie, I imagine as a speaker who shares hard truths, you sometimes meet with opposition and people who are closed down. I’m so glad God uses those hard truths to work in the hearts of others. I so appreciate you sharing a piece of your story here, friend.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Man, this is such a topic I needed to hear from God on. Thanks for letting Him speak through you. For years, I’ve agreed because I didn’t want to upset someone’s basket or risk disapproval. But recently, authenticity has popped up as a lifelong value for me, in absolutely everything. And to be authentic truly means trusting the voice and convictions God has given me. Thank you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Christina, as a fellow confrontation-hater, it’s hard to choose that route sometimes. I’ve struggled with it and the fear of disapproval too. I love what you said about being authentic meaning we trust the voice and convictions God gives us. When we know they are from Him, it’s easier to let them weave into the fabric of who we are. Thank you for your thoughts here!

      Like

  3. Now this post set me thinking. Doesn’t happen often … me thinking!

    How did Jesus disagree with someone? He didn’t smile benignly and let what they said or thought pass by. He told them there and then when they were wrong. He told them in order to teach them and teach others the truth.

    But we are not Jesus. We could not possibly behave as He did. I often smile kindly and say, “I understand!” when someone talks nonsense. I am a hypocrite I suppose in doing so. But it avoids confrontation all the time, Or most of the time. Or sometimes …

    God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Victor, I like where your comment went. How did Jesus respond? He did deal with the situations rather than avoiding what happened. It seems like he dealt with each situation uniquely. As I read your comment, the woman caught in adultery came to mind. He didn’t ignore her sin. Neither did He condemn her. The good thing about Him is that He knows hearts and how each situation should be handled.

      And you’re right. There are times when the best way to handle a situation is to do what you recommend in saying, “I understand.” Sometimes that is the loving response, isn’t it? Have a great weekend!

      Like

  4. I am a peacemaker. Smooth ruffled feathers, calm rough seas. That’s been my role for as long as I can remember. Not until I read your post today have I considered what part of myself I may have lost in the process of avoiding conflict. You’ve given me a lot to contemplate! Thanks for sharing your wisdom. It definitely spoke to me, Jeanne! Cindy Wilkins

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy, I so appreciate your transparency. I’ve definitely taken on the peacemaker role too. May God help you discern when it’s time to be a peacemaker and when it’s time to confront.Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

      Like

  5. Yes, being authentic is sometimes the higher calling. That is a challenge for me – and my “avoid confrontation at any cost” self. Definitely need to work on this…because I, too, want to live authentically. Such wisdom needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jennifer, it feels easier to avoid confrontation, doesn’t it? I’ve definitely been in that camp. It’s something I’m working on too. Living with two teen boys has been pivotal in causing me to evaluate when it’s time to let things be and when it’s time to confront. May we both grow in living authentically!

      Like

  6. DISAGREE IN LOVE. THERE’S THE HITCH. WITH SOME CONFRONTATION IS NECESSARY. OTHER TIMES IT’S EVEN FUN. BUT THE GUIDE MUST BE THE LOVE ANGLE. HOW ABOUT CONFRONTATION WITH GOD? HE’S PRETTY GOOD AT STRAIGHTENING ME OUT. SOMETIMES HE MAKES ME LAUGH AND HE JOINS IN. ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE.:))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mom, if we are honest, I bet most of us have had times when we confront God with things. It’s part of genuine relationship with Him, don’t you think? I’m so glad He’s patient with me when I question, and that He answers me in His timing. I love that He knows how to relate with each of His children. 🙂

      Like

  7. This is such a necessary reminder, Jeanne. Thank you. I am someone who fears and avoids conflict, and I know I have often compromised authenticity by agreeing. Even if it was being silent. It smites my heart if I am silent just so I won’t stir up anything. As you say, it’s like losing a part of ourselves. I’m still such a work-in-progress in being authentic all the time. As I become stronger in who I am in Christ, I’m learning, but slowly. I often have to pray, “Lord, help me to be me.” Love and hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trudy, you’re right. I’ve been the one who chooses silence to avoid conflict too. I usually regret that response later. God’s teaching me that usually when I want to be silent I need to pray and see if that’s the response God wants me to offer. Often, it’s not. 🙂 I’m a work-in-progress right there with you. I like what you said about as you grow stronger in your identity in Christ, you learn. I like your prayer!

      Sending you love and hugs back. Have a great weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This is such a great truth! I also struggled for years with agreeing or staying silent, avoiding conflict to preserve the peace. I think we can easily go the other extreme and just argue with anything that we don’t 100% agree with. But that’s not always loving. I think it comes down to motive. We are not to be a stumbling-block to others, especially other believers. For me, I have to “pick my battles.” Is the issue important enough in eternity’s sake to make a deal out of it? If yes, then speak the truth–but always in love, for the purpose of lovingly correcting and warning a fellow believer or witnessing to an unbeliever. If it’s really not going to matter, I gauge how likely we can have an honest, logical, loving debate. If it seems they’re not open to changing their opinion and are stuck in their ways or tied to an idea, then I just leave them be. It’s a fine line sometimes. But love requires and rejoices in the Truth (1 Cor. 13:6).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lila, you’ve really thought this through. 🙂 I think you’re right. We need to look at each individual situation and gauge our response. We are not called to confront every situation. I like your gauge of considering if the situation deals with a primary eternal issue. And, yes, there are times when confrontation will only result in division. Sometimes, I share my thoughts, and then listen. If I sense the other person isn’t going to really listen, I let it go. We can agree to disagree, right? Love your closing statement!

      Like

  9. Right there with you friend! We must speak the truth in love. Your words here are a great reminder to me–don’t lose yourself. Thanks friend! I’m in the 48 spot this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like these words :But if we can reflect His love in a situation, authenticity can weave deeper into the fabric of who we are.
    Coming at it from a loving stand point is key.
    Have a great weekend

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I totally agree with you, being true to yourself is more important than agreeing with others. That can be uncomfortable, but people pleasing will leave you empty in the end.
    Thank you for this important reminder, Jeanne!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Katha. Being ourselves and not agreeing with others can be uncomfortable, but people-pleasing does leave you empty. You stated that so well. Thank you so much for stopping by!

      Like

  12. Jeanne … hi! I’m always amazed at how much wisdom can pour our in all of 300 seconds, plus or minus. Thanks for this reminder to be real, to toss aside our masks, to be available in our authenticity.

    Good stuff, friend …

    Liked by 1 person

  13. “Authentic and Agree do not always co-exist.”

    Gosh, that’s true. I can’t count how many times I’ve kept my mouth shut (or opened it to mumble some anxious assent) when the right thing to do was share what I really thought. I both crave and fear authenticity; I want to be real but I also don’t want to be rejected.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marie, sharing my real thoughts has been a struggle for most of my life. The whole fear of being rejected has held me back so many times. It’s caused me to appear to be someone I’m not. It’s robbed friendships. It’s stolen from who I am and what I am. I understand the double-sided yearning of craving and fearing authenticity. I guess as we continue to understand who we are in God it becomes easier to not fear rejection. Sending you a hug, friend!

      Like

Comments are closed.