Community, Five Minute Friday scribblings, Mothering

Support: When We Feel Alone


+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

Our Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—SUPPORT. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. We write for five minutes on a given word. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out the Five Minute Friday website. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

SUPPORT

The moment the boy entered the car he was all about telling me about this great speaker who said a lot of things that he loved, and I . . . didn’t. Not that her thoughts weren’t accurate. But it was probably that my boy heard what he wanted to hear.

And he proceeded to pick apart every aspect of parenting that Hubs and I employ.

I smirked at one point. And white knuckled the steering wheel really hard at another. And I may have been a little heavy on the gas pedal.

See, some of the thoughts he conveyed are things I’ve been struggling with as a mom.

Mothering teens feels so lonely sometimes. 

And when the kid comes at you with everything he perceives is wrong and why he should have more of this and less of that? It’s enough to deplete the joy right out of me.

When the garage door went down, he stormed to his room, and I strode quickly to mine. And I breathed.

And I prayed.

And I realized I really, really needed to talk this out with a friend who’s further along the mothering journey than I am.

As I talked with her, some of the doubt pinging in my mind—the anger churning in my spirit—dissipated.

God used her words to renew my perspective.

We all need the support of others in our lives. God has given us those who have gone before us to help us navigate the hard seasons, the tricky decisions.

And He’s gifted us with others coming up behind us on the journey.

Whether they are in the parenting road, the dream-chasing road, or the hard-knocks road.

We always have the support of others, if we’ll seek it out. We also have opportunities to be a support . . . if we’ll open our eyes to find them.

After time distanced us from the solar flare, the boy and I were able to move forward together. He knows he has Hubs’ and my support. Even though he may not always like some of what we say.

We’re family. We love each other through the struggles and the joys.

What about you? How do you support those around you? How have others supported you?

Click to Tweet: We all need the support of others in our lives.

I’m linking up with Five Minute Friday—Support

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30 thoughts on “Support: When We Feel Alone”

  1. You are doing a great job parenting. Teens are not easy. Glad you can support each other even when your child mad disagree. Blessed to be your neighbor at FMF this week.

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    1. Thank you, Tara. It’s one of the most humbling things I’ve ever EVER done. I’m sure you find common ground with other friends in ministry. Another humbling calling. 🙂 So glad we’re neighbors this week!

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    1. Thank you, Andrew. It’s funny because you hear from others about how they use certain lines, but to hear them directed at me the way they were threw me. It also made me seek God and talk with a trusted friend for perspective. We cannot truly walk life out very well without the help of others.

      And for the record, your support has been very important to me too, friend. Continuing to pray.

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  2. HI – visiting from Five minute friday. Just spent a morning chatting with a friend about our parenting techniques and insecurities. We really need it, don’t we? Great to ‘meet’ you – I blog mainly on how to connect with God during hard times, coming from a place of chronic illness. (i have a free book if you wanna know more about me.) http://tanyamarlow.com I always think parenting is more of a dance than a rule book, and everyone has their own music to dance to.

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    1. Tanya, there’s something that happens when we can honestly share and talk through and pray through mothering challenges. I’m so glad you have a friend you can decompress with! It makes such a difference on this journey. I love what you said about parenting being more of a dance than a rule book. What a great visual. And yes, every child has their own music. We parents get to figure out how to dance with them. 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by, it’s nice to meet you!

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  3. I get a great dose of support every Thursday night! Just ‘partying’ (my husband still laughs whenever I say, “I’m going to go party” and the only sounds is the clicking of my keyboard and the occasional snort of laughter) with people who write is support beyond measure!

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    1. I agree, Anita. I love that we can par-tay on Thursday nights! I love the community FMF encourages. I always wonder what Hubs and my boys think when they hear me burst out in laughter in my otherwise quiet nook. 🙂

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    1. Yes, Susan. One important facet you bring up is godly friends who aren’t afraid to speak truth to us. SO important. And when they can see our darkest places and help us out of them? Truly pure gold.

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  4. This FMF prompt made me so happy! And you’re right about us all needing support in our lives. I too am grateful for those moms who have been where I am and their willingness to share wisdom. Happy Friday, friend. xo

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    1. Kristin, it took me about 3 seconds to decide what I was writing about for our word this week. 🙂 Thank goodness for other moms who share wisdom! I’d be bald right now without them. 😉 Have a wonderful weekend, friend!

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  5. Whew. I’m so glad you had a friend to reach out and process with! I cannot imagine trying to do this mothering thing without those who are farther along. I get so caught up and start listening to the voices that tell me I’m not doing enough; not good enough; whatever. And then someone reminds me that, no. I’m meant to be a mom to these particular girls. Thankful for support, indeed!

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    1. I agree, Annie. It’s interesting that God created us to need each other as we walk through the hard seasons of life. There’s so much benefit to being open with others, sharing our struggles, listening as others share theirs and helping each other. I’d be a much worse mother without the help of my friends. 😉

      I’m like you. I have to learn to turn off the voices—the lies—and listen to the truth . .. often spoken through the words of trusted friends. And I’m with you. God knows which children are best for each set of parents. He knows which parents each child needs. Crazy, huh? He’s amazing that way. 🙂

      Have a great weekend, my friend!

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  6. If a person searches long enough they will find a speaker, book, or article that props up their opinions and desires. But as Christ Followers we don’t shop around for the most agreeable plan of parenting, we seek to parent in way that reflects God’s expectations. I do thank God for the example you and your husband set as parents. You are an inspiration to many people, especially me.

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    1. Good point, Gene. It’s easy to find any perspective a person want to hear to tickle their ears. You’re right. We do need to parent with God’s expectations in mind. That’s the harder road, in my opinion. But, I’m hoping it’s the road our boys will eventually embrace as well. Because you and I both know His ways are always best. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. They truly bless me.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

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  7. Jeanne, it is so hard when those issues come up with our kids (and they still do) to find a trusted friend to talk it over with. We are blessed when we have others willing to share their wisdom as we all benefit and grow together.

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  8. Parenting teens is challenging on many levels and I think the rewards are often reaped down the road a bit. It’s wonderful to have the support of someone further down that path, whose perspective can help shape our own.

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    1. Jo, I always kind of dreaded the teen years. They’ve definitely thrown us some curveballs, but I can still say I’ve loved every age in parenting our boys. I think having others walking the same parenting stage are encouraging, and definitely those who are a few steps ahead are encouraging, aren’t they?

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  9. Jeanne,
    I am so very thankful that I’ve had others who’ve supported me from a position of “I’ve been there….you’ll make it through,” to me being the one to supporting others from a confidence I’ve gained through Christ’s faithfulness as I’ve persevered through trials. It definitely needs to be a two way street. Wonderful post!!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

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    1. Bev, those people help us through the deep things in life, don’t they? And, I am always blessed when someone comes to me with something. There’s something amazing about helping each other. Thank you for sharing some of your experiences, my friend!

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  10. i love that verse jeanne:) and i love the concepts you spoke of…that of talking to someone further along in life who can encourage you. that’s why i like churches where there is a wide variety of ages represented. it makes a healthy church for sure!

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  11. I am glad you have the support of a trusted friend. Teens are tough! My son is past teens now, but I have realized 22 is also tough! I bet my mom could say a thing or two! 🙂 I’m glad that through it all your son knows that you and your husband truly have his back. My son knows that too, but boy if he doesn’t know sometimes how to say something that just crawls right in and brings out some cranky mommy.

    Have a blessed and wonderful week.

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    1. Kelly, teens ARE tough. Thank goodness we never really parent alone. God has this way of knowing our needs and building in the networks for when we need them, doesn’t He? Our boys know Hubs and I have their back, although sometimes they don’t like it. 😉 And yeah, Cranky Mommy has made a couple appearances around here the past couple of weeks. Have a wonderful week!

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