Five Minute Friday scribblings, Friendship, God

Connect: How Connecting Happens

two-friends

+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—CONNECT. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!

CONNECT

When I saw our word for tonight, I smiled. I kept thinking about the ugly green phone I used to have to pick up and listen to—the dial tone and the number tones, or clicks buzzing in my ear as I dialed each number. Then listening to the phone as it rang on the other end.

When I would call a friend to get together, I was so glad the telephone could connect us so we could talk.

In a way, that kind of connecting hasn’t changed. I still pick up the phone to talk with some people. I have a friend who I’ve talked with almost every week for the last twenty or so years. So hard to imagine. She lives in another state. I anticipate our conversations.

In our phone calls, we’ve chatted about child rearing, recipes, heart issues, the joys, struggles, disappointments, stretching, and rewards this life has offered us.

We’ve connected on deep levels. There’s no pretense between us.

Connecting is like that. We have to choose to reach out. It takes time to grow a relationship—a connection—to the point of depth.

older-couple

When we share pieces of ourselves, when we offer wisdom or vulnerability to another, connecting happens. A weaving of two spirits grows.

God created us to be interdependent. He gives us opportunities to weave our lives and experiences together with others.

But we have to be intentional in the weaving. We must be willing to reach out—through a phone call, a text, an email, or snail mail (does anyone besides me still hand write letters?).

It’s in the intentional effort of sharing ourselves, giving of our time that connecting happens.

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That’s when there’s a foundation of trust that depth grows and fulfills.

I never mind picking up the phone to call someone I care about. More often than not, I come from the conversation away fulfilled. Sounds selfish, I know. But I hope the person on the other end of the line also has a sense of connection. That deep down satiation of spirit and soul. Because that’s what connection is about.

What about you? What’s your favorite way to connect with others? What’s one way you’re intentional about connecting with those around you?

Click to Tweet: God created us to be interdependent.

I’m linking up with Kate Motaung’s Heading Home site: Five Minute Friday—Connect

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36 thoughts on “Connect: How Connecting Happens”

    1. Andrew, having computers, internet and social media can be a godsend, can’t it? I’m grateful for the faster way of being able to connect with friends and others through email.

      I love how God has surrounded you with many who you can connect with. And I’m grateful to be one of them. 🙂

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  1. I enjoy connecting with friends when we get a chance to go on walks, it used to happen weekly, but then life got busy, kids got older and now we are all running around. We also have an open chat group that helps us stay connected and is a safe place to reach out if we need support.

    Great use of the word connect!

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    1. Amanda, I have a friend or two I walk with too. It’s surprising the conversations and depth that can happen in the span of time a walk takes. It seems that, as our motherhood journeys transition through our children’s stages, so too, our connecting points need to change. I’m glad you have a way to chat with friends and stay connected. It’s so important on this journey!

      Thanks for stopping by! It’s so nice to meet you. 🙂

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  2. Jeanne, great post! It is so true that connecting takes time and effort. But it is so worth it! And I am with you … there is nothing like hearing the voice of a dear friend on the other end of the phone. And just so you know, while cordless is in every other room, in my laundry room still hangs our old green phone 🙂 Blessings!

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    1. I completely agree, Joanne. Taking the time to connect is worth the effort. I love hearing the voices of dear friends and family. And, I admit, I laughed out loud when I read about your green phone! 😉 Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂

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  3. Interdependence is the healthy connection, for sure! I write letters to prisoners as part of a ministry and I like how the letters come to me hand written! There seems somehow to be more revealed, more of a connection when I see someone’s handwriting instead of type. I’d like to get more intentional to create connections through handwritten words of encouragement. Great post, J!

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    1. Lynn, that’s a beautiful ministry you offer those prisoners. There’s power and grace in the written word. And I really miss the day of handwritten letters. I loved seeing peoples’ handwriting on an envelope and anticipating a great read inside. I want to be more intentional about writing more letters and cards by hand to people in my life.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love that you wove intention into this post. 😉 Even through Facebook and blogs and “not real life friends” we still need to be intentional to connect. And it still takes that bit of vulnerability, doesn’t it?

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    1. The more I think about this word, Intentional, the more I see it is an intrinsic part of who I am and who I want to become. I am thankful for the friends I’ve met online too, Annie. The internet provides an amazing opportunity for relationship, when it’s used right. And yes, some vulnerability is still required if those connections are going to dive beneath the surface of what we can see.

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  5. “We have to choose.”

    Yep. That choosing is often hard, for even as I want depth of relationship I shy away. I wonder if the risk is worth it. This seems to be on the minds of a lot of people I know, for the newly relaunched women’s Bible study group at my church is focusing on relationship with God and people right now. We’ve been reminded that we have to reach out to Him first, let Him fill us, before we can reach out to others, because then we’re full of grace and can pour out that grace.

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    1. I know we’ve had this conversation before, Marie. It’s hard to choose that deeper connection because it’s risky on a number of levels. I will tell you though, almost always, the risk is worth it. You’re sharing what God’s been showing me this week about my One Word. I need to be reaching out to Him first. Seeking my satisfaction and fulfillment in Him. Only then will other relationships have the potential to grow deep. We can only be truly satisfied by God, right? Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here, my friend.

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  6. Thanks for your thoughts here: I agree that it’s important to be intentional in our connecting with others. For me the written word is very important: sending someone a ” thinking of you” email or text. It takes so little time but it can be so meaningful and so good for relationships.

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    1. Jeannie, I love receiving handwritten cards and letters from people. There’s something about seeing the looping and lines of letters that speaks volumes. And having those words to hold onto and re-read? I love that. I have gotten out of the habit of writing cards to people, but I’m feeling the prompting to get back into the habit of sending cards and letters to people. These are good for relationships.

      I’m so thankful you stopped by today! It’s nice to meet another “Jeanne/Jeannie.”

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  7. Jeanne,
    I think sometimes I pick up the phone just to hear that person on the other side. I’ll even listen to their voicemail if I’m really missing them. It’s been said your mother’s voice can release endorphins, so if I’m stressed out, sometimes I call her.
    🙂 And sometimes I don’t because she tries to fix things (she can’t help it and I totally understand).
    Thank you for sharing the need we have and how calling others can bring us fulfillment. I agree. Sometimes when we try to bless others, we receive more back on us than what we gave. You do that for me often. 🙂
    Love,
    Tammy
    (#8 this week)

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    1. I love that your mother’s voice gives you a lifeline back to sanity, Tammy. It’s amazing how powerful a human voice can be in evoking an emotion, isn’t it? You’re right. I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds comfort and fulfillment through phone conversations. 🙂

      Have a wonderful weekend, my friend!

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  8. I do agree that we must be intentional in our connections. It is harder for me to have a phone call these days, but my girlfriend and I who moved an hour or so away we text often, and I drive to her place once a month to re-connect. Blessings!

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    1. Barbie, how wonderful that you and your friend can get together every month. That’s a gift! I have found connections can happen in texting too. I have a writing friend, and some of our best conversations have come through texting.

      Thank you so much for stopping by!

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  9. I very rarely use the phone to talk to people anymore. My connecting is digital. I used Google Hangouts and texting. I haven’t done the video chats yet. However, I see that coming down the line at some point. Thanks for your post. It’s on point. Visiting from FMF community.

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    1. Kimberly, isn’t it amazing how many ways we have available to us to connect with others? Video chats can be fun, once you figure out how to get them set up. 😉 I’ve used them for writing purposes but not for personal ones yet.

      I so appreciate you stopping by!

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  10. great post jeanne:) connecting at deep levels includes choosing to reach out. so true! the choice to be vulnerable is often involved as well. it isn’t easy is it? hope you have a wonderful new year:)

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    1. Yes, Martha. Choosing to be vulnerable is a risky thing. But, there’s something about sharing a part of ourselves that makes it safe for others to do the same. I hope your New Year is wonderful too!

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  11. Oh, rats! I thought at first that you said that ‘God created us to be independent.’ Then I realized I was reading what I wanted to :). So, you’re probably right. No, you really are right, but it’s hard for this independent introvert to accept that God really does want us to do community together :).

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    1. You always make me smile, Anita! 🙂 Isn’t it funny how we can “read” what we want to hear? It’s hard for this independent, overcoming-fear girl to accept the truth that I need to be willing to reach out if I want to find those soul-deep connections. And God is so good to lead us to people who are a good fit for us, yes?

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