Chosen and Approved Series, God, People Pleasing, Series

Chosen and Approved: Lessons from David for the People-Pleasers (Like Me)

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+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

Welcome to part three of our six-post series, Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection, with Emily Conrad, Mary Geisen and me.

This week, Emily shares all about King David . . . and his failings . . . and how God called him a man after His heart. How did David manage that?

When I read this:

The people-pleaser in me would have a hard time praying the same prayer as David. That part of me would demand I focus more energy on rectifying the situation with people than with God.

I nodded my head at the idea that I needed to focus my energy on rectifying situations with people before I did so with God.

How off-base I have been at times, because I was so afraid to offend people. God forgives, right? But people? Not always.

So, of course, I needed to make sure I fixed any offenses I’d caused.

God does forgive. And He invites us into relationship with Him. He tells us to set Him above anyone and anything else. This isn’t as easy for me as it should be. And those people-pleasing mindsets I’ve held to for years die hard.

In her post, Emily shares some great insight into the mindset of a God-pleaser. I hope you’ll read and glean as much as I have.

Join me over at Emily’s place and see what David did that helped him to be called a man after God’s heart.

If you’ve missed either of the first two posts in this series, you can read them at this link.

Today, I’m linking up with Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday and Kelly Balaraie’s #RaRaLinkUp.

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18 thoughts on “Chosen and Approved: Lessons from David for the People-Pleasers (Like Me)”

  1. I’m not remotely a people-pleaser, but I have learned recently – and yet again – that there are things we can do that can never be fixed, and that the only hope we have is grace.

    A binary solution set: hope for grace, or the abyss of despair.

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    1. Andrew, one of the many great things about you is that you don’t try to please others. I see that from the comments you share on blogs and from your own, wonderful posts. Yes, there are things that we can do that we can never fix. And yes, we do have grace. And sometimes that’s the only place our comfort can come from after we see what we’ve done. I’ll take the hope for grace option, please. 🙂

      Thank you for your thoughts.

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  2. Putting God first always sounds like such a given until I stop to consider something like David’s story and realize ways I’ve strayed from that. Thanks for this lovely intro, Jeanne! 🙂

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    1. I agree, Emily. Putting God first is sometimes easier said than done, isn’t it? I’m thankful for God’s grace that sometimes reminds me I’m straying. Great post today, friend!

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  3. I gleaned a lot out of these words pertinent to a situation I went through last year. I knew God had forgiven me but literally couldn’t accept that others wouldn’t.
    Yet it is God who I need most to stand rightly before. And this is what makes Him God. His unconditional love and forgiveness

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    1. Somer, it sounds like you and I may be similar. I never thought people wouldn’t like me, or that they wouldn’t forgive me, until I was in my 20’s and working in a place where one of the teachers took a very hurtful dislike toward me. She made it very clear she couldn’t stand me, no matter what I did. It was such a difficult realization that some people just wouldn’t like me. And that was the beginning of my own coming to a place where that didn’t matter anymore.

      I still struggle when someone won’t forgive me. I’m sorry you’ve walked that path too. May we both grow in standing rightly before God. Thanks for your transparency today.

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  4. Your words echo so much of what I’m reading in Lysa Terkuerst’s “Uninvited.” I get so caught on being a fixer that I can bypass God’s will for situations. I want to remedy and smooth at all costs – which is really just a nice way of saying that I want to be sure I’m blameless, when often, I’m not. Jumping over to Emily’s now…

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    1. Tiffany, yes, fixing is so easy to slip into, isn’t it? Sometimes waiting for God’s solution feels so HARD. That whole being a peace-maker (people-pleaser) mode is far too easy for this girl to slide into. As we seek to be right before God first, He usually has a way of resolving things, one way or another. 🙂 Loved your thoughts here.

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  5. I was challenged a lot about this earlier this year when God asked me to do something for someone else that I was not willing to do but I realised I would have done it if the person had asked me. It made me realise how ridiculous it is that I was putting someone else’s opinion over God’s, but it is so easy to fall into doing that when people-pleasing has become a habit. Going to read Emily’s post now.

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  6. I’m loving this series you three are doing, Jeanne. I’m afraid I’m too much of a people-pleaser, too. I want to be a God-pleaser. I’m still a work in progress. Blessings and hugs to you!

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    1. Trudy, I’m so glad you’re enjoying this series. It’s special to receive glimpses into how God is speaking to people. 🙂 I suspect many of us struggle with people-pleasing at least some of the time. I’m with you. Being a God-pleaser is my desire. And God is faithful to help me conform to the image of His Son, when I choose Him first. 🙂

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  7. Finally getting to visit you again…with kids at Oma and Opa today. I’m going to have to go back and read each post from your joint series. This one was really good: a lot I could identify with. Thank you for getting together to bless us like this.

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