**Confession: I wrote this piece about a year ago, but I still find myself thinking about the truths I learned. So, I’m sharing it with you. 🙂
So, I’ve been feeling a little sorry for myself today. As I push forward hard to get things done before my favorite writing conference of the year—American Christian Fiction Writers conference—nothing is going as I planned.
Somewhere in the preparing, I took my eyes off Jesus and put them on those around me. Those who seem to have the perfect stories ready to pitch in a few weeks—revised, edited and polished. Oh, and they’re amazing stories. Friends who seem to have it all going on.
And here am I, the snail way behind the pack of writer friends who are moving forward toward their dreams come true. Stuck on words, thoughts that just don’t want to come out right. Here am I, feeling a little sorry for myself because my story didn’t come together in my timeline.
Vacations happened, unforgettable memories painted themselves onto the canvas of our family. Injuries happened, stealing some energy. Story snags poked their frustrating heads into my timeline, throwing off my goals.
Yes, here I am feeling a little sorry for myself.
A friend stopped by recently, out of the blue, and she let me dump my insecurities, my disappointment on her for a few minutes.
Then she reminded me that through all the disappointments, the frustrations, the insecurities, I am still blessed. I have precious friendships, those who know how to speak truth and grace into me when I can’t see it for myself. Those who listen and encourage.
I have an amazing family, a love for words that God instilled within me, and I have the love of my heavenly Father.
When I take my eyes off Jesus, I start feeling out of sorts because I end up playing the comparison game. The problem is I’m the only player. So, I am ever so good at seeing the worst about me and holding that up to what I see as the best in others.
You know, I have yet to win that game.
When my eyes are fixed on Jesus—my heart still before Him—I can hear the whispers of His love as it brushes across the scrapes on my heart.
I may not have children who make homework time easy. They struggle to stay seated to finish up their work for the day. But God’s given us two amazing boys who I love so much it’s a physical ache.
I may not have it all together on this writing journey, but I have stories God has given me to write. I have the promise that all things come to fruition in His timing. I have friends and mentors who patiently help me figure out things like pitch sheets and story snags.
I have been given so much. It’s only when my eyes are fixed on Jesus that I can see the gifts He’s filled my life with. When I take time to look, to appreciate the many ways He’s said, “I love you,” my heart rests, and peace reigns there.
What about you? How did you kick yourself out of a pity party? How do you practice gratitude?