It was one of those mornings. The ones where one or both boys were dawdling, despite my best efforts to prod them forward. One boy sprinkled sugar on the morning, while the other acted out in all his pre-teen glory, pouring attitude at every opportunity.
We climbed into the car—late—because of forgotten shoes and jackets. I steamed, directed it toward the boys. When would they learn? When will they finally realize it’s best to get ready first and then play?
Noooo. They had to steal time from themselves and from me. I got on them about how their tardiness affected my day, my morning.
Yah, that mom-moment was less than uplifting. Far less than beautiful.
We rushed to pick up the other children I drive each morning. They piled into the car, chatted of Pokémon.
As we pulled onto the main street outside our subdivision, a fire truck blocked all three straight-bound lanes . . . My first clue that something serious had happened. I crawled over to the left turn lane, my eyes absorbing the details.
All talk of Pokémon stilled in the back seat. A car parked off the road had a dented front end. I inched past the fire truck to see a tow truck still moving what was left of a mangled SUV onto its bed. My heart pounded. The front half of the vehicle was smashed. The roof of the vehicle—gone. Large pieces of debris, glass, plastic littered the lanes.
How unexpected life is.
You can be irritated as heck at your kids one moment, and then a few moments later . . . they could be gone.
Mine are safe, healthy.
Today.
I was convicted at how easily I’m blindsided by the petty, forgetting the important.
Yes, it is my job to train our boys to develop good habits. To be on time. Responsible. Thoughtful. Respectful.
How easily I get bent out of whack when they act like . . . well, children.
I’m stunned by how quickly I’m caught up in the trivial when eternal matters are involved. My boys have hearts, spirits that are easily crumpled. Easily dented.
I never want to be the oncoming vehicle who doesn’t stop until it’s too late. Slamming into the self-concepts, the precious hearts of our boy-men.
Some lives are much shorter than they should be. Am I going to allow myself to be dented by immature childishness of my sons? Or, am I going to take an eternal view of who they really are?
Can I choose to deflect the irritation that engulfs me when I’m on a tight schedule and they’re on Childish Standard Time?
After seeing that accident, I want to cherish every moment God gives me with our boys. Yes, I’m human. I’m going to get irritated. But, what I do with it is what matters most. Will I dent and crush?
Or can I, just maybe, breathe in deep and remember—again—that my guys are in training?
Can I show them they are cherished by their mama and their dad?
Remembering the scene of that accident spurs me on to look through eternal eyes. Only God knows the number of our days.
I want each day to count for our boys.
What about you? What impacting moments have altered your perspective? Was there lasting change?
Oh, gosh. Moments that inspired lasting change…there are many I can’t talk about, for a number of reasons, but the most operative are that they’d break your heart.
And mine, all over again.
Plato said that only the dead have seen the end of war, and Ernie Pyle said that he didn’t think anyone who’d been through it could ever be cruel to anything ever again.
Amen. What I have learned in this terrible school is that Jewel is right – “Only Kindness Matters”.
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Andrew, sometimes it seems like it’s the moments that break our hearts that inspire change because they finally get our attention, elicit a reaction, a paradigm shove. And if they lead to kindness, all the better. For everyone.
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I need to remind myself this everyday. Sometimes, I just have to put everything down, set everything away and focus on the important. Beautiful, thank you. What a beautiful picture of you and your boys.
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Lisa, it seems I need everyday reminders too, to remember what’s important. I’ve reminded myself often over these past few days that when a boy wants to sit on my lap and talk, everything else needs to take a back seat for a few minutes. Thanks for stopping by!
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Great blog Jeanne! Impressive lesson. How good God is! He’s always ready to provide the lesson if we are ready to receive. A+ on readiness for you! have a blessed day today!
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Yes, being ready to receive is key. I’m thankful for God’s patience, and for His prodding’s, in the case by seeing that accident. I hope your day is blessed too, Mom!
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This whole last month of being sick and still trying to recover … makes me view servant-hood in a different way. When you get tired of cleaning up after others … and then you barely have strength to get yourself to the bathroom … suddenly, you wish you had the strength to clean up after others. What a wake up call! And I love the CST (Childish Standard Time) … so cute!
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Yeah, I bet your perspective shifts when you can’t do the things you always do. It brings on a new level of dependence too. I’ve been there my friend. Praying you get stronger each day! Thanks for stopping by!
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“A new level of dependence” … yes, it does! Whew!
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Wow, Jeanne, this is so beautifully written. It’s moving…and very convicting! I’ve had several of those moments myself. What a great job of putting into perspective how every moment and opportunity counts towards shaping these children we’ve been entrusted with. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for your kinds words, Tanara. I’m learning to live more purposefully, especially as it regards our boys. It’s a constant choice, isn’t it? And yes, every moment counts. Thanks for stopping by!
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Jeanne, I just experienced the death of a family memeber those times that also come when you don’t expect als cause you to rethink and reframe.
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Peter, I’m sorry for your loss. You’re right. A loss like that does cause us to rethink and reframe. I’m praying for you today. Thanks for stopping by.
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Thank you.
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