Dealing With Fear: Walking Through Marked Doors

My friend, Beth Vogt, talks about the things that happened in her life when she opened the door marked, “Never.”

I’ve been thinking about that idea of doors in my life. Which doors I’ve opened. Which ones I’ve kept closed and locked up tight.

The fact is, when there is a closed door, two things must happen. First I must choose to deal with the fear what may (or may not) be on the other side. Second, I have to be open to change.

Every door I’ve walked through in my forty-something years on this earth has led to a change of some sort.

Why do I choose not to open certain doors? Sometimes, I’m afraid of what I’ll find on the other side. Will it hurt me? Does a painful memory lurk just beyond the door? One I’d rather forget? Sometimes, those doors are best left locked. With the key forever lost.

 Sometimes, though, fear keeps me from curling my hand around the knob, unlatching it and pushing the door open. One door I kept closed for decades was marked, “You could never.”

“You could never sing a solo.”

“You could never work at a church.”

“You could never write a book and get it published. Especially not fiction.”

“You could never blog.”

For years, I believed these lies. Nourished them with the words I spoke.

But God wouldn’t let me forget some of these things. He piqued my curiosity, so that I had to open that door and peek in from time to time. The first time I was brave enough to audition for a worship team? I was accepted.

When I was offered a job helping in women’s ministry at our church? Color me shocked! I almost said no. But one question burned in my mind. If I was to look back on this opportunity in five years, would I regret saying no?

And the answer was, Yes. I would regret not trying it, seeing what God had to teach me in that season of my life.

Since I was fourteen, I thought it would be cool to write a book. “But I could never come up with characters, setting and a plot. I’m not that good.” So I left that door closed. I celebrated a couple of friends as they embarked on their writing journeys. A secret part of me wished I could walk through that door  too.

But I could never…..

A few years ago, Hubby and I attended in a couples retreat. As we listened to one couple’s story, the name of a heroine and the mode to take the story from beginning to end popped into my head. My heart raced! Did I dare open that door marked, “You could never”?

Long story short, I peeked inside, took a step into that room lit with a flicker of candlelight and wrote my first book.

One thing I’ve learned about this door, “You could never,” is that I must not shut it again. Certainly not lock it.

Because this is one door I am choosing not to be afraid of anymore. I never know the dreams God has hidden just on the other side.

What about you? What doors in your life you’re glad you opened? Are there doors in your life that fear is holding you back from opening? Care to share what it is?