Life's Uncertainties: Mothering By Heart, Mothering, Perspective, Relationship

Life’s Uncertainties: Mothering By Heart

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I just read the story of a mother of young children (you can find it here) that tightened my perspective, reminding me nothing in this life is certain.

Hubby and I spent years praying for children, weeping over our barren arms.

Through that season of aching, joy and sorrow walked hand in hand each time a friend told me she was pregnant. I attended baby showers. Until it became too painful to hold in the tears.

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We stopped attending church on Mother’s Day. One year we went and carnations were handed out, and then collected back when I admitted that, no, I was not a mother.

Even though my heart yearned to wear that title.

When we were both ready to consider adoption, God worked. And fast. He filled our empty arms with a wiggly baby boy who had ten perfect fingers and ten kissable toes. And a set of lungs to wake us from sleep in the middle of the night.

Seventeen months later, God gave us the gift of adopting another precious boy with deep blue eyes. We’ve rocked our boys to sleep, tucked them in each night. We’ve read them bedtime stories and prayed with them.

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We’ve watched as they fell in love with the written word and pored over books, learned to play piano, and they’ve begun to dream of what they’ll be when they grow up.

I love being a mom.

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So, why is it so easy for my to-do list to steal the joy of single moments with my children?

Sometimes, I forget the blessing God gave me when He placed two boys into my heart. I forget how precious they are. It’s so easy to focus instead on training them up to be men of integrity. Sometimes, I forget to bask in their hugs, their exuberance, their smiles.

The story I read reminded me life can be stripped away unexpectedly. It’s got me thinking about the memories our children will carry into adulthood.

If I was to be called Home tomorrow, what lessons would our boys take into their teen years? Adulthood? Hopefully, they’ll embrace the lessons we’re trying to instill in them.

Even more than training, I hope they remember shared times together—bowling for the first time, encouragement from their parents, family game nights, hikes, swimming in the ocean.

I want our children to know—and believe—they are cherished and loved beyond measure.

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I’m praying for a tighter perspective when it comes to living out the gift of motherhood. It’s a hard, dying-to-self kind of life—this being a mother—but it’s one that fills me deep and overflows me with wonder.

For these children I prayed.

God said yes to my pleas. May I mother—and love—in a way that fills our boys with confidence and points their hearts to Him.

What about you? What have you prayed for that has changed you? What have you learned through the gifts God has given you?

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15 thoughts on “Life’s Uncertainties: Mothering By Heart”

  1. Darn it, Jeanne, you brought tears to my eyes. I think you must be an excellent mother. The boys are truly fortunate.

    My tears started when you mentioned avoiding church on Mother’s Day. The brutality of taking back the carnation is stunning.

    I can’t take Father’s Day, because in every growing child I see the ghost of my unborn child, killed when his mother was shot – in front of me. He – or she – would have just graduated from college. What might this person have become, what accomplishments, but for the bullet?

    And the second reason for tears – as I write this my beloved mother-in-law is on a ventilator, with failing lungs and heart. She is the only real mother I ever knew.

    I wish I had met her sooner, so I could have loved her longer.

    Sorry this is disjointed. Can’t see the screen clearly, anyway.

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words, Andrew. And I am truly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine that. I’ve been praying for you, your wife and your mother-in-law. I always appreciate your comments. Thank you.

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      1. Jeanne, I thought I should update my comment – my mother-in-law is being removed from life support today.

        Very hard for the family, and particularly my father in law. It;’s a terrible choice to have to make.

        Go hug your kids. Hard. Then hug them again.

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    1. I know, Jennifer. It came from being oblivious to the pain, I’m certain, rather than being deliberately malicious. But the gesture still jabbed. Hard. I know God is faithful too. Even when He answers with a no. Thanks for the reminder that God is ALWAYS faithful.

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  2. Jeanne,

    Thank you for sharing. It is difficult when the desire of your heart to be a mother, when a couple wants to be parents but it hasn’t happened. It is painful, waiting. I’ve found myself in a place where I don’t dwell on it, but it occasionally is hard. I want to have an overflow of joy for my sisters and others when I hear their pregnant but there is still a sting there. I don’t know what the Lord has planned for me and my husband, but I found that if I’m always asking it hurts more…is that strange? I already know the Lord gives us the desires of our heart and sometimes think maybe I’m not asking like the persistent widow? I’ll I know is that I want to be in a place where I am content with what He has given me. I don’t know how and when but I do still hold onto the hope that one day He will bless us with that gift of parenthood.

    And to all those ladies who ache for the same thing…..I bet you are mothering someone right now, someone who may not be your child, someone who desperately needs the love of the Father through you. Know this you have earned more than a carnation for your love….you have bouquets, upon bouquets of beautiful flowers lined up waiting for you in heaven. Your love and worth has not been overlooked by our precious Saviour Jesus Christ.

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    1. Beautiful words, Carmela. And I hear, and feel your heart. I’ve found that God gives the joy, but the sorrow is still there. I think each woman’s walk through infertility is unique, yet there are similarities in the journeys of many. Contentment is a good thing to pray for. That and keeping your heart on God first and foremost. I’m sending you a cyber hug right now, and praying for you today. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your heart.

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  3. Beautiful. Children are a gift. Adoption stories are really my favorite. Such love. Such heartache to walk the road of infertility. God is faithful, he has answered my prayers and been silent. In each he is good.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lisa. Yes, God is good—both when He answers our prayers the way we want, and when He doesn’t. Thanks for that. And for stopping by today!

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  4. I love your honesty and the way you share your heart, Jeanne! Your boys are super cute. 🙂
    Something I’ve prayed for that’s changed me–definitely my writing career. In both the waiting season and the post-waiting, I know God has changed me, shifted my perspective and just continually hammered home that this writing journey isn’t about me. His purpose is to transform me…which is both exciting and a little scary… 🙂

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    1. Yes, when we “surrender” our dreams and journeys to God, we can expect transformation, huh? It’s been fun to walk a little ways with you on your journey, and to see how God makes dreams come true. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, Melissa!

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